Unedited thoughts on the sermon

"I want to experience the presence of God and to dwell with God." Sermon on 11-11-12.



If I never have another child, do I love him?
If he called for my life, do I love him?
If he called for Ben's life, do I love him?
If he called for Drew's life, do I love him?
If we lost our home, do I love him?
If I am in physical pain, do I love him?

Do I trust him to be useful? What if I had to trust him to be useful?

What if there was not going to be a place without suffering, and pain? Is He enough even with pain and suffering?

Psalms 27:4 - If I was facing New Testament Saul, would I still say this - "I want to dwell with God."? Do I mean it that much? Would I love him if he ordained it? Even as enemies surround me? Literally?

What makes me happiest? Doing the will of God.
Why? Because it makes him happy.
And? Because he is proud of me? Because he would love me more?

Because I love him!

Is doing the will of God similar to wanting the presence of God?

In doing His will, we are IN His presence!!!

David said, "I don't want to be delivered from this. I just want you."
Would I say that?

We are enough

I wake up a little before the alarm goes off and I praise God for a little more sleep.  The next time I wake up the music has been playing softly for about 20 minutes.  A tad late, but not enough to worry about.  I climb out of bed and head toward the bathroom.  I stumble over one of my husband's shoes.  I enter the bathroom unscathed.  I start my morning business and wonder what to wear today.   I realize it is Friday, jeans day.  Thank goodness!  I don't have to worry about what pants are clean.

I put on my jeans and my favorite sweater.  I got the refrigerator and get my lunch together.  I grab my Kindle and sit down.  I read my passage for the day.  I pause to think about the verse that says the last shall be first and the first shall be last.  I wonder if I actually live that out.  I tweet the verse and wonder if which way people will think of themselves as they read it.  I start reading my blogs for the morning and remember that I have not written one yet.  I finish the last couple and start my breakfast.  I still wonder what to write for today.  The same old thoughts come back that I am not enough.  I live too often like the first instead of like the last.  That sounds like avoid blog topic right?  After all, don't people want to hear this heart wrenching self doubt voice.  That will get the page views and some how make me more of enough in the process.

I leave the house and walk through a spider web beside my car.  Ugh!  I am the worst home owner ever!  My house is always dirty.  The carpet isn't vacuumed and the furniture is dusty.  The flower beds are over run with weeds and there are some huge mushrooms in the back yard.  This looks like an abandoned house.  When will I ever find the time to fix this?  Not tonight.  We have a trip to Carowinds and a lock in.  Tomorrow we will be exhausted, but we will have to do something about the yard then.  My one word this year is faithful and I could not possibly be failing any more at being faithful to the home God has given me.

With these thoughts preying on my mind and spirit, I backed out of the carport and saw the most amazing thing.  My front flower bed that I had worked so hard on and had so little to show for it looked beautiful.  There were cute little ghosties and fun scarecrow decorating the black and weedless dirt.  There was a beautiful bright yellow mum sitting in a pot.  The pots by the front door were filled with bright red feathers standing tall and announcing the front door.  That's what my mother in law was doing while I was putting away my exhaustion from a week of allergies.  I thought about our part time teacher who has bailed me out more than once this month and hasn't gotten paid for it.  (Side note: The payment thing is worked out.  Praise God!)

Then I realized it isn't about me being enough.  It's about we being enough.  It's about working together as a team to walk through this life successfully.

Praise God for the team he has put around me.  Thank you for helping me be enough.

How to be a Christian when you are tired

  Photo Credit: dprevite

You probably clicked here thinking I was going to give some useful steps about being a Christian when you are tired.

Sorry about that!

The post title is more of a question than a self help post.  You see this week has been exhausting.  I have stayed up later than normal a couple times.  We have had car trouble a couple times.  Errands, chores, and some work stuff took longer than expected or didn't get done.  And there is going to be a big change coming for me at work.  So I am exhausted both mentally and physically.

I am stressed out and worried about various things that are happening and some that aren't happening.  I know God is in control and I genuinely believe that he is looking out for what is best.  That doesn't negate the fact that I have been more cynical this week.  I have had mean thoughts creep in often.  I have snapped at my husband and son more than once.  All I really want to do is curl up in a ball under my covers and go to sleep.

However, I decided to be an adult and go to work even though I really didn't want to do that.  I have tried to stop the negative thoughts and focus on positive things, like smiles and laughter.  Blessings like a full belly and a warm bed.  Maybe that is what growing in your faith is all about.  Maybe it is looking for the blessings more than you do the negatives.  Maybe it is believing God is going to come through even when things look tough.

What do you think?  How are you a Christian when you are tired?